I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
