ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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