May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
