Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
