My nipple is on Facebook.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize