google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
