I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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