Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
