all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
