I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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