Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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