your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
