Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
