i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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