Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
