I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
