...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize