I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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