Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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