Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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