During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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