I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
its not stalking. its research.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
