And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
