Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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