3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
