i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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