The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize