I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
