Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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