Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
