wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
