You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
