I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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