i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize