escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
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Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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