please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
