i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
