Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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