im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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