I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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