I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
