Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
