it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
