I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize