Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
