Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
