the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
