She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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