ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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