I should be sponsored by Trojan
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
