He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
