I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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