So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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