this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
