his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's always time for handjobs
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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