I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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