I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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