Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
