I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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