You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I need to stop coming to work sober
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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