Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
