just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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