Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
